I mean, yeah, I started my period today, but that’s not what I was talking about.
I have the opportunity once more to create a website for a client-slash-family acquaintance. I am excited but cautious because I know me and I know how I work. I love making websites, but I love to procrastinate – as you can see from this blog still using a premade by WordPress. It’s neat and yay, columns, but it’s so blank and without character. Or maybe my blog itself is without character.
Either way, I’m going to actually try my best on this website. She doesn’t know what she wants or anything about websites, so that at least gives me some freedom in the coding department, but I also want to make this website work and work well for her business. She’s an artist, by the way, who creates pretty cool carvings.
Anyway, I’m not exactly sure what her budget is, but hopefully she can at least pay for the registration and the hosting.
Well, it’s official. I am now 30 years old. The big 3-0. One decade away from a possible mid-life crisis. Wonderful.
I feel like I missed all the announcements leading up to this day telling me this was the deadline to getting my act together. But really, I did what I always do whenever I have a deadline: I procrastinate. And I procrastinate quite well.
Although this may be a new beginning, it should instead be called a new perspective. The daunting, ever-present voice in the back of my head that has followed me around ever since I dropped out of university for the first time has switched tactics from gently prodding me to act more like an adult and is now instead yelling at me that I’m wasting my life away.
By now, I feel like all people should have accomplished something in their lives, but I am still at the tutorial, trying to design my character and choose which class would best suit my playstyle.
But who cares?
There are times when I hate my anxiety and I blame literally everything on it. From being unable to walk into a grocery store when I need something or invite an old friend out for a movie. The fact that I’ll go miles out of my way just to eat at the same drive-thru I’ve eaten at since I was in high school for no other reason other than it’s familiar to me.
Today is the mark of a change in perspective for me, a call to arms for fighting for my future and for my happiness. So, happy birthday to me. I hope this year I push myself to do the things I’m afraid to do, speak up for myself more, interact with people more, and basically not be a realistic (re: pessimistic) jerk.
…This is not going to be fun.